An Effective Mentor always tries to put themselves in the learner’s place.
Carefully and tactfully correct someone, looking at the situation from their view point, with the aim to be their advocate and not their adversary to give them that reassurance that you intentionally have that desire to see them grow as a person in character to enable them to succeed.
People that have had a history of abuse in their childhood or have been involved in an abusive relationship with a partner or spouse may have had to overcome a victim mentality. If you have played the “Blame Game” for long enough you will feel that all situations that you are involved in – the fault may lie with yourself.
When you are caught up in a shame spiral your natural reflexes to accept and process criticism don’t comprehend too well. If you have been made to feel like you were never valued and were useless and stupid, and now you instinctively give too much power to criticism.
You need to look at yourself and what you are good at, then you can re-build your self-esteem. You need to be accountable to someone who will guide you and encourage you to meet your goals one step at a time. A Life Coach can help you to move forward.