#Stella_Holman

Thursday

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An Effective Mentor always tries to put themselves in the learner’s place.

Carefully and tactfully correct someone, looking at the situation from their view point, with the aim to be their advocate and not their adversary to give them that reassurance that you intentionally have that desire to see them grow as a person in character to enable them to succeed.

People that have had a history of abuse in their childhood or have been involved in an abusive relationship with a partner or spouse may have had to overcome a victim mentality.  If you have played the “Blame Game” for long enough you will feel that all situations that you are involved in – the fault may lie with yourself.

When you are caught up in a shame spiral your natural reflexes to accept and process criticism don’t comprehend too well.  If you have been made to feel like you were never valued and were useless and stupid, and now you instinctively give too much power to criticism.

You need to look at yourself and what you are good at, then you can re-build your self-esteem.  You need to be accountable to someone who will guide you and encourage you to meet your goals one step at a time.  A Life Coach can help you to move forward.

 

 

 

Wednesday

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We know that being on the receiving end of criticism doesn’t make you feel all that great.  In fact depending on where you are in your life it can make you feel quite down in the dumps.   So in a day to day environment it is vital to keep all your comments even in general conversation positive and uplifting to those you are conversing with.

All our opinions are in fact valuable to us but may not be in agreement with others and it is important to be diplomatic and not destroy our friendships/relationships by forcing our opinions on to them. In matters of principle and moral code for your own life, don’t move away from what is right, in matters of taste be flexible and give others the benefit of the doubt.

If you are creating constant conflictions with others you may give yourself an ulcer, best solution when you have made your point is to back off and make time to learn more about that person or get some more facts about the issue

Focus on here and now, time is a precious commodity that has to be used productively.  Time Management is important, staying on track with your immediate goals and being true to who you are as a person with regards to your moral code and conduct and life principles may not make you popular with everyone, but will draw people to you of whom will help to propel you forward and help you to meet your targets and goals.

 

 

Friday –

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Securing our Future

Everyday I am working with the main thought and motive in mind to secure my family’s future.

Family –  my daughter Sonia and son Julian.

Sonia has just started 6th form/yr 12 and Julian is in yr 10. They have so many needs and finance is needed to be able to provide enough money so that have a good start in Life.

I am fortunate that both of them are really in to the Social Media, they both have accounts on Facebook with over 800 friends. Using the different SM applications they just find it all so simple as they have grown up with a keyboard in their hand.

Business – I am interested to network with people that have integrity and right standing in the community..

I love to find out what gets other people motivated.   Desire to achieve has to be matched with ability.  This is one of the reasons why I have been keen to encourage my children in what ever they have chosen to do to try and nurture the main core ability within them.  With my son it has been difficult as he never seems to commit to anything for any length of time.  Recently, I have said to him that he shouldn’t commit to things and keep letting other people down, important to see things through to the end, even if then you don’t carry on, do it for the period of time that you have agreed to.

Currently he is doing a BTEC in Sports and really enjoys it, he is also into “Extreme Sports” and has been able to learn to build his own bicycle and now can also help other people.  Then he also likes the scooter and the same, he can find the parts, buy them and build his own scooter.  Takes after me – “A Trader” he creates and then he sells the finished item within his circle of friends and makes a profit with which he buys something better. .

Also, he is very good with Technology and now he has an IPhone4 he has been very helpful to me and also others who have bought one and also the IPad, here can set that up.  At church his job for service is the Lighting Technician – and also learning to understand the sound desk and computer equipment.

Sonia on the other-hand has tried different things that haven’t worked out, so she has had to go on to 6th form/yr 12 to re-study some of her GCSE’s  It was Sonia that let other people spoil it for her – dropped out of school at the end of yr ten.   Home-schooled for a few months and then went to be an Apprentice in the Hospitality Industry.  Didn’t work out…..

Sonia has rather intellectual interests – and in a lot of ways is quite adult for her years.

She loves documentaries  and history, quite the complete opposite to what I am interested in, so it is quite difficult for me to look at that and see ways to motivate.  But now she has expressed an interest to write and I am trying to get her to start to write her own Blog.  She is going to do a course on Movies/Journalism and I am sure she will get started on her Blog at some point soon.

So with everyone the desire must match the ability, being part of a team can help you to take on full sizes responsibility but not sole responsibility.  So motivating/ helping one person achieve will help the overall results of everyone.

You can motivate someone by putting them into the “spotlight” they will then work to uphold their reputation.

Get to know someone to understand what has motivated them in the past and then you can identify what would motivate them for now and in the future.

 

 

Tuesday

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Age is a number on paper, you really don’t need to look at how old you are and then limit what you can and can’t do or achieve.

When I was young – in my twenties I used to think people in their sixties and seventies were old, but in this day and age where people try and look after themselves, keep fit and keep in the fashion by having their hair coloured and styled certain people never lose their attractiveness.  Beauty being only skin deep but what is in the heart reflects out.

In history we have some great people – for example Picasso who produced some of his greatest art pieces at the age of 90.   In the Bible there was Noah who built the ark when he was 500 years old.

It is important to look around you and see what you can achieve and live every moment and life to the fullest.  It is never too late to learn something new, speak out and encourage others also to live life to their full potential.

With regards to work, if you are like me and try and look at the big picture, that is not just looking at your own needs but also looking at those of other people’s and trying to achieve something that could assist others to get ahead.

We might find that our friends of whom we have known for years have stuck by us, but when we try and move ahead to start new ventures or try something new they don’t want to change their strategy and stop agreeing or offering the support we need.  Networking does give us the umbrella and stepping stone to find like-minded people in which you may have a common interest.   One of the main goals in business is of course to make some money, change your strategy and collaboration with new people may well be the key to get ahead.

In the Bible Proverbs 13.20 says “He who walks with wise men will be wise.”

When you make contact with people and share a concept or idea you have support to get things started and ongoing support and guidance to make it happen.  If you all share the objective and are 100% behind the project you are going to make it happen, then with constant encouragement the project will be achieved.

Today, I am off to Liphook in Hampshire to meet with a couple of my Blackstar colleagues, quite a drive for me but we are going to check out a venue that we intend to use for future events.

We have a project in mind and we know that we come to the table and bring our various strengths and also our weaknesses that we can discuss and get help with.

Monday I managed to write an entry in this blog and also share what happened with my other WordPress Blog on Ecademy  –

I had to follow my own Blog and comment on the comments posted, though sometimes with other people’s blogs I just don’t follow them due to the sheer volume of comments that result in emails to my email.

In order to raise my Klout score I have tried to initiate chat between people I have connected to.  This is working out well with people and so my score has raised a fraction and people are starting to follow me.   I know this is the case as I thanked someone for following me on my Slideshare Account  and then got quite a few other people following.   Actually, Slideshare syncs with Facebook which is handy should you be creating presentations that you want to share with a vast number of people.

I also joined a new network called “CommonRed” which is in Beta, I just connected with Tina Jonasen and the person who has created the network and this morning I have about 12 people on my contacts list and also an invitation to join someone’s Boardroom.   Well it is exciting what happens while you are asleep;-)

I sync this blog to Twitter and LinkedIn so of course it was posted there on my profile. Quite a few people must have read it as I had over 350 invites to connect.  As I write to each and every one it is slow for people to get accepted.  People with silly masks on who haven’t taken the time to create their profile or have a business name and don’t write a note to let me know who they are I ignore and archive.

 

Update-Five years on….

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1/9/2016.

I originally wrote this blog five years ago, quite a few changes have occurred so just thought it was a good idea to update.

Started of as a Sole Trader/Founder of  Ivey Business Services in 1992, still operating the same. Became know as TheConnector – changed this to TheConnectorInt

Marketing is via Networking –  all about relationships as Rob Peter’s would say #RelationshipCapital. – the art of getting to know people and finding out what they need.  They in turn maybe interested in what you have to offer or maybe interested to give you referrals or advocate you or even better collaborate with you.

Collaboration is great because  different people bring different skills to the table and so forming a team with everyone working towards the same purpose brings outstanding results.

I am delighted to be collaborating with Simon Barry from KiplingandKirbyVentures and also Rob Peters founder & CEO of StandardofTrust.com 

I have always enjoyed Networking events and Simon needed to have a regular monthly meeting as an incubator for start-ups.

We have decided to hold this in the Southwark area of London as our 1st meeting of this autumn is on 7th September 2016.  Please register your commitment to attend here 

Rob Peter’s wrote this really useful article called ” 10 Benefits of The Digital Start-Up Incubator Today”

I post information about the products and services that I represent on the following Facebook Pages.

Social Media Tutorials – Stella Holman, Personal IT Coach.

Information about the VIP Travel club and #Dreamtrips on  The Connector, working with a “Vision, plan and purpose to make a difference.

Ivey Business Services,

Digital Marketing for Creative People 

FriendsOfKusadasi

Organo Gold Team-Kusadasi

Weekly, I am still active on Empire Avenue on – it is now called Empire.Kred http://www.empireavenue.com/theconnector Over five years i have used this platform to make lots of new contacts, some of which have become really good online friends.  Remarkably a good platform to assist others build their brand online.

My Klout scoring fluctuates as it doesn’t let you have a day off!!

Five years ago i was running two blogs this one and also Stella Holman’s Blog ) and now i also have RecipeToSuccess FriendsOfKusadasi IveyBusinessServices EarnWithStella.