Thursday

An Effective Mentor always tries to put themselves in the learner’s place.

Carefully and tactfully correct someone, looking at the situation from their view point, with the aim to be their advocate and not their adversary to give them that reassurance that you intentionally have that desire to see them grow as a person in character to enable them to succeed.

People that have had a history of abuse in their childhood or have been involved in an abusive relationship with a partner or spouse may have had to overcome a victim mentality.  If you have played the “Blame Game” for long enough you will feel that all situations that you are involved in – the fault may lie with yourself.

When you are caught up in a shame spiral your natural reflexes to accept and process criticism don’t comprehend too well.  If you have been made to feel like you were never valued and were useless and stupid, and now you instinctively give too much power to criticism.

You need to look at yourself and what you are good at, then you can re-build your self-esteem.  You need to be accountable to someone who will guide you and encourage you to meet your goals one step at a time.  A Life Coach can help you to move forward.

 

 

 

Friday –

Securing our Future

Everyday I am working with the main thought and motive in mind to secure my family’s future.

Family –  my daughter Sonia and son Julian.

Sonia has just started 6th form/yr 12 and Julian is in yr 10. They have so many needs and finance is needed to be able to provide enough money so that have a good start in Life.

I am fortunate that both of them are really in to the Social Media, they both have accounts on Facebook with over 800 friends. Using the different SM applications they just find it all so simple as they have grown up with a keyboard in their hand.

Business – I am interested to network with people that have integrity and right standing in the community..

I love to find out what gets other people motivated.   Desire to achieve has to be matched with ability.  This is one of the reasons why I have been keen to encourage my children in what ever they have chosen to do to try and nurture the main core ability within them.  With my son it has been difficult as he never seems to commit to anything for any length of time.  Recently, I have said to him that he shouldn’t commit to things and keep letting other people down, important to see things through to the end, even if then you don’t carry on, do it for the period of time that you have agreed to.

Currently he is doing a BTEC in Sports and really enjoys it, he is also into “Extreme Sports” and has been able to learn to build his own bicycle and now can also help other people.  Then he also likes the scooter and the same, he can find the parts, buy them and build his own scooter.  Takes after me – “A Trader” he creates and then he sells the finished item within his circle of friends and makes a profit with which he buys something better. .

Also, he is very good with Technology and now he has an IPhone4 he has been very helpful to me and also others who have bought one and also the IPad, here can set that up.  At church his job for service is the Lighting Technician – and also learning to understand the sound desk and computer equipment.

Sonia on the other-hand has tried different things that haven’t worked out, so she has had to go on to 6th form/yr 12 to re-study some of her GCSE’s  It was Sonia that let other people spoil it for her – dropped out of school at the end of yr ten.   Home-schooled for a few months and then went to be an Apprentice in the Hospitality Industry.  Didn’t work out…..

Sonia has rather intellectual interests – and in a lot of ways is quite adult for her years.

She loves documentaries  and history, quite the complete opposite to what I am interested in, so it is quite difficult for me to look at that and see ways to motivate.  But now she has expressed an interest to write and I am trying to get her to start to write her own Blog.  She is going to do a course on Movies/Journalism and I am sure she will get started on her Blog at some point soon.

So with everyone the desire must match the ability, being part of a team can help you to take on full sizes responsibility but not sole responsibility.  So motivating/ helping one person achieve will help the overall results of everyone.

You can motivate someone by putting them into the “spotlight” they will then work to uphold their reputation.

Get to know someone to understand what has motivated them in the past and then you can identify what would motivate them for now and in the future.

 

 

Update-Five years on….

1/9/2016.

I originally wrote this blog five years ago, quite a few changes have occurred so just thought it was a good idea to update.

Started of as a Sole Trader/Founder of  Ivey Business Services in 1992, still operating the same. Became know as TheConnector – changed this to TheConnectorInt

Marketing is via Networking –  all about relationships as Rob Peter’s would say #RelationshipCapital. – the art of getting to know people and finding out what they need.  They in turn maybe interested in what you have to offer or maybe interested to give you referrals or advocate you or even better collaborate with you.

Collaboration is great because  different people bring different skills to the table and so forming a team with everyone working towards the same purpose brings outstanding results.

I am delighted to be collaborating with Simon Barry from KiplingandKirbyVentures and also Rob Peters founder & CEO of StandardofTrust.com 

I have always enjoyed Networking events and Simon needed to have a regular monthly meeting as an incubator for start-ups.

We have decided to hold this in the Southwark area of London as our 1st meeting of this autumn is on 7th September 2016.  Please register your commitment to attend here 

Rob Peter’s wrote this really useful article called ” 10 Benefits of The Digital Start-Up Incubator Today”

I post information about the products and services that I represent on the following Facebook Pages.

Social Media Tutorials – Stella Holman, Personal IT Coach.

Information about the VIP Travel club and #Dreamtrips on  The Connector, working with a “Vision, plan and purpose to make a difference.

Ivey Business Services,

Digital Marketing for Creative People 

FriendsOfKusadasi

Organo Gold Team-Kusadasi

Weekly, I am still active on Empire Avenue on – it is now called Empire.Kred http://www.empireavenue.com/theconnector Over five years i have used this platform to make lots of new contacts, some of which have become really good online friends.  Remarkably a good platform to assist others build their brand online.

My Klout scoring fluctuates as it doesn’t let you have a day off!!

Five years ago i was running two blogs this one and also Stella Holman’s Blog ) and now i also have RecipeToSuccess FriendsOfKusadasi IveyBusinessServices EarnWithStella.