Monday

Stella Holman - The ConnectorInt 3 Comments

Doing what you love and love what you do.

I love socialising and meeting people.  Coming from a background as an only child and quite a shy one also, I was constantly pushed into situations where I had to go and do a lot of things on my own.  Though, in my working life, I had opportunity to change and as my first job was in the Bank and on the counter as a Cashier, I developed and acquired the confidence to speak to people from all walks of life and also over a period of time was comfortable speaking to almost anyone.

I was introduced to Network-Marketing at the age of 19 years and this birthed the Entrepreneurial Spirit in me, but it wasn’t until I got married and had children that I got the opportunity to leave the Bank and really get started to try and get a small business off the ground.

It was suggested to me that I started with Book-Keeping – I can’t say that it ignited the passion inside me that much, but I did undertake a course, then got started with a few clients when the recession came, most of them lost a lot of their clients and so I looked to do something new.

My love of meeting people especially those in other countries/cultures, led me to be a host family and eventually I did start my own little business around having adults come over to learn Business English, then I went on to be a Accommodation Arranger for an Austria Company and I undertook this for seven year.

Then I got involved with the Internet, when I got started with Internet Marketing everyone laughed and said it was crazy!!

Talking to people from all over the world is actually my passion, building relationships from which I find friends, contacts and people to work with and new projects to undertake.  So I feel I am justified to call myself a Professional Networker.

In this day and age it can be tough to find new business, I can honestly say it isn’t plan sailing for me either, but I just take each day at a time.  Inside me and other people are the hopes and dreams that are nurtured to forfil, actually requires a good deal of courage and the ability to take risks.  Takes a while for you to understand who you are as a person and then connecting to work that you really love.

When I joined Ecademy, it gave me opportunity to meet business people from all over the world then in 2007, I joined Ecademy’s  Blackstar –I felt a bit inferior at that point –    but that was something inside me that I had to work out though.

Wealth Dynamics Profiling– a personality profiling mechanism revealed that I was infact a Trader – I know that I had to create an occupation for myself around this profile and so I created the Virtual Assistant who helps people make contacts, build relationships that could that lead to business referrals and new projects.  I can show others how to develop their business around networking and using Social Media Tools to locate people in their industry/sector.

Blackstar gives you some great role models and mentors – Thomas Power – I can say that I share his enthusiasm for the networking and love for technology.   Thomas was someone that I followed in depth, over all the sites and soon I was making the contacts.  My trip to Denmark made a big impact on my working life, here I got to know my friend Tina Jonasen a bit more and then met Geert Conard.  The following year I was attending events in Belgium organised by Geert and his Belgium Blackstar colleagues.

Then we were all fortunate to go to a seminar and understand about Social Media from Louis Gray. 

As I have got so much out of being a member of the Ecademy Community I am passionate about sharing this knowledge as a service to help other people understand how Ecademy could be a useful platform for them – to learn now to network, make contacts and as we do today, share all our Social Media activities through this network.   Advanced technology enables us to share all our activities, even LinkedIn has begun to follow suit.

On a day to day bases it can be quite overwhelming and you need to have a strategy in place.  I was intending to be a Digital Coach. Looking at others who have this role – I can see that for them, it is their passion and they have the flair to do it.  I do continue in my capacity as a Digital Minded Virtual Assistance and offer people services to advise them on how they can be “visible”and also Social Media Designer

Earlier on this year I had some Life Coaching sessions, I undertook the D.I.S.C profiling test and this revealed to me that my plan and purpose was in fact to support other people who needed to be encouraged to step out in faith and pursue self-employment, there are also people who are at a cross-roads in life that need support and encouragement to meet new goals.

I am starting in January 2012 my training to be a Life Coach and help others explore the question of who they really are and connect to work that they truly love – in doing so will be productive and unleash creative power.

Love what you do and you will be able to engage your heart in it.  My passion for travel and meeting the different people from various cultures led me back into networking marketing – World Ventures is a wonderful opportunity for people that love to travel and also need a new direction in their life.  Initial investment is small to get started.  I got my initial investment back within the first six months, but it is possible to do this in the first 30 days if you commit to following the training that is offered and focus.

There are events organised every week so you can meet up with other people and also you can participate online, which is what I do for most of the time which keep you engaged in the business. For more information read…

 

 

Thursday

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An Effective Mentor always tries to put themselves in the learner’s place.

Carefully and tactfully correct someone, looking at the situation from their view point, with the aim to be their advocate and not their adversary to give them that reassurance that you intentionally have that desire to see them grow as a person in character to enable them to succeed.

People that have had a history of abuse in their childhood or have been involved in an abusive relationship with a partner or spouse may have had to overcome a victim mentality.  If you have played the “Blame Game” for long enough you will feel that all situations that you are involved in – the fault may lie with yourself.

When you are caught up in a shame spiral your natural reflexes to accept and process criticism don’t comprehend too well.  If you have been made to feel like you were never valued and were useless and stupid, and now you instinctively give too much power to criticism.

You need to look at yourself and what you are good at, then you can re-build your self-esteem.  You need to be accountable to someone who will guide you and encourage you to meet your goals one step at a time.  A Life Coach can help you to move forward.

 

 

 

Wednesday

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We know that being on the receiving end of criticism doesn’t make you feel all that great.  In fact depending on where you are in your life it can make you feel quite down in the dumps.   So in a day to day environment it is vital to keep all your comments even in general conversation positive and uplifting to those you are conversing with.

All our opinions are in fact valuable to us but may not be in agreement with others and it is important to be diplomatic and not destroy our friendships/relationships by forcing our opinions on to them. In matters of principle and moral code for your own life, don’t move away from what is right, in matters of taste be flexible and give others the benefit of the doubt.

If you are creating constant conflictions with others you may give yourself an ulcer, best solution when you have made your point is to back off and make time to learn more about that person or get some more facts about the issue

Focus on here and now, time is a precious commodity that has to be used productively.  Time Management is important, staying on track with your immediate goals and being true to who you are as a person with regards to your moral code and conduct and life principles may not make you popular with everyone, but will draw people to you of whom will help to propel you forward and help you to meet your targets and goals.

 

 

Friday –

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Securing our Future

Everyday I am working with the main thought and motive in mind to secure my family’s future.

Family –  my daughter Sonia and son Julian.

Sonia has just started 6th form/yr 12 and Julian is in yr 10. They have so many needs and finance is needed to be able to provide enough money so that have a good start in Life.

I am fortunate that both of them are really in to the Social Media, they both have accounts on Facebook with over 800 friends. Using the different SM applications they just find it all so simple as they have grown up with a keyboard in their hand.

Business – I am interested to network with people that have integrity and right standing in the community..

I love to find out what gets other people motivated.   Desire to achieve has to be matched with ability.  This is one of the reasons why I have been keen to encourage my children in what ever they have chosen to do to try and nurture the main core ability within them.  With my son it has been difficult as he never seems to commit to anything for any length of time.  Recently, I have said to him that he shouldn’t commit to things and keep letting other people down, important to see things through to the end, even if then you don’t carry on, do it for the period of time that you have agreed to.

Currently he is doing a BTEC in Sports and really enjoys it, he is also into “Extreme Sports” and has been able to learn to build his own bicycle and now can also help other people.  Then he also likes the scooter and the same, he can find the parts, buy them and build his own scooter.  Takes after me – “A Trader” he creates and then he sells the finished item within his circle of friends and makes a profit with which he buys something better. .

Also, he is very good with Technology and now he has an IPhone4 he has been very helpful to me and also others who have bought one and also the IPad, here can set that up.  At church his job for service is the Lighting Technician – and also learning to understand the sound desk and computer equipment.

Sonia on the other-hand has tried different things that haven’t worked out, so she has had to go on to 6th form/yr 12 to re-study some of her GCSE’s  It was Sonia that let other people spoil it for her – dropped out of school at the end of yr ten.   Home-schooled for a few months and then went to be an Apprentice in the Hospitality Industry.  Didn’t work out…..

Sonia has rather intellectual interests – and in a lot of ways is quite adult for her years.

She loves documentaries  and history, quite the complete opposite to what I am interested in, so it is quite difficult for me to look at that and see ways to motivate.  But now she has expressed an interest to write and I am trying to get her to start to write her own Blog.  She is going to do a course on Movies/Journalism and I am sure she will get started on her Blog at some point soon.

So with everyone the desire must match the ability, being part of a team can help you to take on full sizes responsibility but not sole responsibility.  So motivating/ helping one person achieve will help the overall results of everyone.

You can motivate someone by putting them into the “spotlight” they will then work to uphold their reputation.

Get to know someone to understand what has motivated them in the past and then you can identify what would motivate them for now and in the future.

 

 

Mid week

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I have had to leave this blog a couple of days to give me time to catch up with all my emails and do some marketing for my various businesses activates.  Still quite a bit to do, but I have started with some of it so there is information for people to read.

Over 1000 messages to read on LinkedIn, some of which are invites that never seem to diminish.  I don’t connect with everyone these days.   I have stopped connecting with people who are going to write to me to ask about me finding them work i.e outsourcing to India  I am only connecting with people that may be interested in something I am offering or they have something I need or are willing to network. People that are just adding me to get their numbers up I will decline, also people that have no profile or no picture.

I really need to go back through all my connections and re-connect via email.  I never will run out of people as “The Connector” I always have lots of people interested top connect with me.

Julian, Sonia and I sat up late and watched the “Shutter Island – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1130884/  with Leonardo DiCaprio,  my advice is don’t watch it before you go to bed like we did

On Empire Avenue, Nokia invested in me – sometime since I invested 10 in them.  Quite an achievement to receive a reinvestment.  I have two accounts (e)TheConnector and also (e)IveyBusiness and so I have to play every day to maintain the score.

I am currently putting the (e)eaves aside to be able to buy extra shares in other people and it takes a bit of time to do this but it is part of the game and helps to raise the score.

We bought the whole set of Harry Potter and then watched them all in a week and went to see the last film earlier on in this month.  I never realised it was Alan Rickman that played the part of “Snape”.  Since this time I have been following Alan Rickman’s acting career

There is an amazing amount of information on the Internet and video clippings on Youtube.   I have created two playlists – one called Alan Rickman – http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL281FE6D0A24CD2B4 and the other is anything to do with Harry Potter itself http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDB2A94CB70EF35A1

There are quite a few people that have set up accounts on Twitter that post info on Alan Rickman and art-work created by fans, it is all quite interesting. Quite a few people are pretending to be Snape and I have connected to a few

Well, since I have been more vocal on Twitter I have had quite a few new people follow me this week, this has helped my Klout score.

I was to be part of the team with the Digital Brighton Conference at the end of this month and have to tweet details about that so have also had a few local followers.

I found out yesterday that the DBC has been postponed.  I am glad as I need to concentrate on my own business so I don’t let down the people that depend on me to develop their lead generation.

I am also still tweeting about the £5 million Penthouse and the paper is still being circulated around my Twitter Accounts though it could do with more subscribers.

I have had a good response to my Digital Marketing and was able to book appointments for 3 way calls later on this week.

Today I will be networking on Empire Avenue and re-vamping my profile on LinkedIn..

 

 

Wednesday

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Work hard and have the right frame of mind and then your hopes and dreams will go according to plan.

My meeting went very well yesterday and we all spoke about the project and how we saw it going forward and were in agreement.   The project being a monthly meeting, created to help the S.M.E’s (small to medium sized enterprises) get advice and support to move their businesses forward and assist with business development.  The meeting to in-corporate a monthly Boardroom intended for the top end of “S.M.E’s” to have a non-executive group of Directors to be committed to helping them with their business endeavours.

Not just for the UK– but internationally to help with business expansion.

This is not just an ordinary meeting, the meeting will consist of ~The Business Game,  a short taster game in the morning and a more intense game in the afternoon with effect from November 2011.   This concept has been considered as a highly effective training and learning tool.  The  meetings  are in a confidential environment, participators have opportunity to bring a problem to the table to get advice and this issue can be inserted into The Business Game , .

For example if your business was making a loss – within the game we would provide challenges to enable you to make decisions at the finance, marketing, production and resourcing issues.  It is hypothetical, it is not your business but you can see how the decisions made within the game would effect the decisions you made with your own business.

The Business Game will provide a competition stimulates experimentation and innovation in a risk-free environment. It’s challenging, absorbing, enlightening.

The next event is on the 2nd Tuesday October 2011 at The Old Thorn’s Manor Hotel, Griggs Green.  £30.00 inc vat.   Please register on this link.

Please follow us on our  Facebook  page -and follow us on Twitter….(@SthCMasterMind).  Subscribe to our paper – http://paper.li/SthCMasterMind/1315995586

 

 

Tuesday

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Age is a number on paper, you really don’t need to look at how old you are and then limit what you can and can’t do or achieve.

When I was young – in my twenties I used to think people in their sixties and seventies were old, but in this day and age where people try and look after themselves, keep fit and keep in the fashion by having their hair coloured and styled certain people never lose their attractiveness.  Beauty being only skin deep but what is in the heart reflects out.

In history we have some great people – for example Picasso who produced some of his greatest art pieces at the age of 90.   In the Bible there was Noah who built the ark when he was 500 years old.

It is important to look around you and see what you can achieve and live every moment and life to the fullest.  It is never too late to learn something new, speak out and encourage others also to live life to their full potential.

With regards to work, if you are like me and try and look at the big picture, that is not just looking at your own needs but also looking at those of other people’s and trying to achieve something that could assist others to get ahead.

We might find that our friends of whom we have known for years have stuck by us, but when we try and move ahead to start new ventures or try something new they don’t want to change their strategy and stop agreeing or offering the support we need.  Networking does give us the umbrella and stepping stone to find like-minded people in which you may have a common interest.   One of the main goals in business is of course to make some money, change your strategy and collaboration with new people may well be the key to get ahead.

In the Bible Proverbs 13.20 says “He who walks with wise men will be wise.”

When you make contact with people and share a concept or idea you have support to get things started and ongoing support and guidance to make it happen.  If you all share the objective and are 100% behind the project you are going to make it happen, then with constant encouragement the project will be achieved.

Today, I am off to Liphook in Hampshire to meet with a couple of my Blackstar colleagues, quite a drive for me but we are going to check out a venue that we intend to use for future events.

We have a project in mind and we know that we come to the table and bring our various strengths and also our weaknesses that we can discuss and get help with.

Monday I managed to write an entry in this blog and also share what happened with my other WordPress Blog on Ecademy  –

I had to follow my own Blog and comment on the comments posted, though sometimes with other people’s blogs I just don’t follow them due to the sheer volume of comments that result in emails to my email.

In order to raise my Klout score I have tried to initiate chat between people I have connected to.  This is working out well with people and so my score has raised a fraction and people are starting to follow me.   I know this is the case as I thanked someone for following me on my Slideshare Account  and then got quite a few other people following.   Actually, Slideshare syncs with Facebook which is handy should you be creating presentations that you want to share with a vast number of people.

I also joined a new network called “CommonRed” which is in Beta, I just connected with Tina Jonasen and the person who has created the network and this morning I have about 12 people on my contacts list and also an invitation to join someone’s Boardroom.   Well it is exciting what happens while you are asleep;-)

I sync this blog to Twitter and LinkedIn so of course it was posted there on my profile. Quite a few people must have read it as I had over 350 invites to connect.  As I write to each and every one it is slow for people to get accepted.  People with silly masks on who haven’t taken the time to create their profile or have a business name and don’t write a note to let me know who they are I ignore and archive.

 

Update-Five years on….

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1/9/2016.

I originally wrote this blog five years ago, quite a few changes have occurred so just thought it was a good idea to update.

Started of as a Sole Trader/Founder of  Ivey Business Services in 1992, still operating the same. Became know as TheConnector – changed this to TheConnectorInt

Marketing is via Networking –  all about relationships as Rob Peter’s would say #RelationshipCapital. – the art of getting to know people and finding out what they need.  They in turn maybe interested in what you have to offer or maybe interested to give you referrals or advocate you or even better collaborate with you.

Collaboration is great because  different people bring different skills to the table and so forming a team with everyone working towards the same purpose brings outstanding results.

I am delighted to be collaborating with Simon Barry from KiplingandKirbyVentures and also Rob Peters founder & CEO of StandardofTrust.com 

I have always enjoyed Networking events and Simon needed to have a regular monthly meeting as an incubator for start-ups.

We have decided to hold this in the Southwark area of London as our 1st meeting of this autumn is on 7th September 2016.  Please register your commitment to attend here 

Rob Peter’s wrote this really useful article called ” 10 Benefits of The Digital Start-Up Incubator Today”

I post information about the products and services that I represent on the following Facebook Pages.

Social Media Tutorials – Stella Holman, Personal IT Coach.

Information about the VIP Travel club and #Dreamtrips on  The Connector, working with a “Vision, plan and purpose to make a difference.

Ivey Business Services,

Digital Marketing for Creative People 

FriendsOfKusadasi

Organo Gold Team-Kusadasi

Weekly, I am still active on Empire Avenue on – it is now called Empire.Kred http://www.empireavenue.com/theconnector Over five years i have used this platform to make lots of new contacts, some of which have become really good online friends.  Remarkably a good platform to assist others build their brand online.

My Klout scoring fluctuates as it doesn’t let you have a day off!!

Five years ago i was running two blogs this one and also Stella Holman’s Blog ) and now i also have RecipeToSuccess FriendsOfKusadasi IveyBusinessServices EarnWithStella.

 

 

 

 

The Importance of being true to oneself

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I remember that song called “Eleanor Rigby” that came out in the 1960’s – it is about self-imposed isolation that comes from trying to blend into the crowd or staying inside the comfort zone.

Partly the reason why I started this Blog, so that I could share what went on in my head and what gave me the thoughts and inspirations to write.

I know that to some people I seem elusive but that really is due to being shy and not being forthright when in a crowd of strangers.   I believe in any case it takes a while to build real friendships and be able to trust people.  That deep down gut reaction you have when in a situation is normally correct.  You may choose to give the person the “benefit of the doubt” which is what I do from time to time, even though circumstances come to the fact that I live to regret it.   I guess it comes from being a “Servant Leader” always thinking of helping the other person and also the gift of “mercy” when you know that other people are in a struggle and you want to help them, but actually, it would have been wiser to have let them be, their struggle was due to their own doing and they should be left to find the wisdom and discernment to take their next step alone.  A bit like the story of the Caterpillar that turns into the Butterfly, it is important to go through all those stages no matter how painful they are to be able to reach the next stage in development as you know creation/nature in the end intended for the creature to be the beautiful butterfly.

Another side to this is saying “Yes” when really you should be saying “No”.  If you go along with everyone else as you don’t want to stand out in the crowd or get out of your comfort zone, eventually if you have a conscious you will realise that you just can’t carry on, in fact nothing will be going right anymore, not matter what you turn your hand to not being true to yourself will have a negative effect on your life overall.