The Onion

This thought came to mind…

………….after a music weekend away with a friend I’ve know for many years.

She always felt she knew me very well we were best friends who would talk about everything and anything, but now she feels that I’ve  changed so much, but she has too.

Since Lockdown and COVID, I’ve spent time really trying to deepen my relationship with Jesus. I start my day with prayers for my closest family, my friends, Christian friends, work colleagues and people that cross my path in need.

Then throughout that day (lunch time & at home) I listen to various Bible plans on the Bible app. 

I have found this of great benefit and it has given me wisdom and strengthened my discerning spirit.

My day job is hard, listening to callers saying they are struggling financially due to our current risen energy prices in this country.  Issues with homelessness and pending homelessness due to rising rents amongst other things. 

As I am talking for over seven hours each day so I need quality time alone to recuperate. I can’t spend 100% of my spare time in the company of others without getting to a point of burn out . 

At the weekends I need some quiet time to myself. 

Over this weekend once we were awake there was no time to have that quiet time until bed time.  Then that time was noisy too. 

Tv 📺 

These days I’m only streaming my tv from apps. Not watching Reality TV or watching soaps.

I tend to read the news online.  I can’t miss the up to date info- we get told at work the state of play so we can advise callers accordingly. I listen to personal development audio books while travelling in the car, walking or washing up.

I also follow various organisations on Twitter for real time news. 

People and their personalities are like an onion – intricate with

many layers- and sometimes you need to peel back a few layers to really appreciate what they are made of. 

My friend told me she was worried about me, that I was living in a different world to her. Sadly, this turned into a heated debate.

Wisdom and discernment has effected my motivations and what I want to spend my time doing, now in my autumn years I feel life is short and I intend to spend my free time working towards something that will honour Jesus, give money to needy causes etc.

My day job role requires me to wear a mask. First layer of an onion. There are  certain ways I have to behave and appear when I interact with others. This makes me look more logical, reasonable and analytic personality even though sometimes I feel very emotional due to individuals situations.

I have to have a non bias opinion of what others do in their lives. Equality & Diversity is all around and I am not allowed an opinion on it.  Deal with people and not judge their choices. 

I’ve spent the last 35+ years being Entrepreneurial and used the internet but most of my friends have no idea about this aspect of my life. Computers/technology haven’t been their interest but I love technology. I have learnt so much in all these years. 

Life is a journey and it’s important to move forward and embrace different opportunities and realise that our decisions to do different things shouldn’t make us wrong!

It’s important for us to say, think and speak in a positive way towards others and also about ourselves. Otherwise your life is difficult and you are drawing negativity to yourself.

I believe that Jesus has given me new friendships in the past year and I have got to know others who have been in the background of my life.

The second layer of the onion is where  your mask is taken off. People become more themselves when they are at home with  family, friends  or the ones closest to them. They are not  too cautious about how they are seen and communicate with others. In this layer we tend to take our mask off with our first connections.

The sub layers of this mid layer are personality, your values, your vision and your perspective of life.

People are here more open to talk about their real inner self.It is much easier to communicate at this layer. People are more friendly, more welcoming and open in building longer relationship.

The third layer is the deep layer which only you know yourself. It is where you hide your feelings, emotions, thoughts, desires, wishes, fears nobody can reach, It is also the layer where you hide your heart, loves, disappointments, burdens. It is called the bottom of  heart.

This layer is the sources of life time relationships and strong trust to each other.

There is another layer which is the  deepest and hidden that even people themselves  don’t know or not aware about it. Some people with so called 6th sense, can reach or read this layer. This layer has direct connection to subconscious. 

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Busy-Busy-Busy

This week went very fast, three days in the office, every other day thankfully. Getting up at 6am can be grueling. It’s been a nightmare getting to work with the torrential rain and flooding. A259 is normally a pleasant journey in the countryside but this week I see the fields all flooded with the rain alongside the river and it filled me with dread.  

Once on the A27 traffic jams due to accidents that seem to occur most mornings. I have been getting into work late! What can I do? I’m leaving my house at 7am!  

I wasn’t the only one, all my work colleagues were stuck in the same traffic jam. I’ve started to take a flask into work with my hot coffee so I can have a drink when I get there My work bag weighs a ton with my refreshments for the day and lunch pack. I’m feeling fit and eating healthily.


Got to Bannatyne’s once this week, will do my 2nd time tomorrow after church. Next week I need to take my gym stuff to work and go there on my way back from work to fit in my 3 days. These days travelling in the dark it is easier to come back via the A27. There haven’t been any flash flooding along that road yet and back in Eastbourne by

6pm.

Survived the works party- had to go directly after my working day. I got to catch up with a few people and meet some new ones. Tried to put faces to photos but it was impossible – though I sure most would say my works photo is nothing like me face to face hahah!  

Glad my work colleague met me there after all – he was able to introduce me to some people that we speak to most days. I said I’d have been lost without him.!!

I can’t be there for everyone, as everyone isn’t there for me either – all trying to get though their life challenges 

I am very lucky to have supportive Christian friends in my life that support and pray for me.

All going through challenging times at the moment with how life is financially. Some people struggling with health issues too. 

I begin each day with prayer before I touch my phone. I know that the Lord is always with me through what ever I have to endure in my life, my heart is glad with this and from this I can draw strength. Ps 16:8

Regrets, I’ve had a few,

the opportunities that I thought were for me, only to discovered I didn’t have what it took to bring them to fruition.

Sins – thought, word and sometimes deeds.  I am not perfect but I am thankful that by the grace of God my sins are forgiven when I am repenting and renounce my sins

The relationships I tried to cultivate with non-believers that made me angry because of the lack of commitment, distrust and no inner peace.

I am grateful now i realise that all these situations taught me wisdom and instilled in me the discernment to know that in all situations God has to be first.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “

In relationships – 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 (Adapted from The Message)

“ Don’t become partners  ( close relationships/ in business) with those who reject Jesus as God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:

“I’ll live in them, move into them;

I’ll be their God and they’ll be my people.

So leave the corruption and compromise;

leave it for good,” says God.

“Don’t link up with those who’s ideas go against God’s will for your life”

It is of great benefit when I spend time in the word each day, even in my busy life I know it is important to still  make time for God. My smart phone is my best resource to have the Bible app, subscribe to daily prayer and bible readings, listen to podcasts from inspiring speakers. and enjoy listening to inspiring worship leaders on Spotify.

I am a member of All Saints Church, Eastbourne  and attend a home group every week and get prayer support for my needs.

Try to give with a willing heart via tithing 10% of my earnings.

Each and every morning in prayer I bring my daily needs to God and believe that he answers and hears my prayers.  I have a prayer journal so I can look back and see my progress.

I believe that God has opened doors for me that cannot be closed and that he will continue to draw towards me the right people to help me succeed and give me wisdom and guidance. I thank God for the seeds that are being sow and that they are bearing fruit.  I believe that God gives me the Holy Spirit to empower me to carry out the work he has put on my heart to carry out and that he is daily guiding my steps.

I thank God to renew my heart and mind so I can aspire to clearly display the fruit of the Spirit in my daily life – the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

Suddenly the Horizons were Limitless.

I carried on working through my emails and notifications , answered an email from a business connection on #LinkedIn who had sent me an invitation to join a Global Market Place.

When I first got involved with Internet Marketing I made the acquaintance of people involved with International Trade and participated in the buying and selling of commodities, so I was drawn to find out more information on TLDE.

TLDE is an Inclusive B2B Marketplace™ with own phone and trading system where you can connect, network, call for free + trade online P2P in real-time at 0% commission. Well  0% commission can’t be bad can it? Do check out the Membership Benefits

Then contact me to receive a discount code  – Tweet me at – Twitter @Stella_Holman

The #Risk requires #Faith

As a practicing Christian and an International Networker, I am constantly meeting people from all walks of life and I therefore need to ask God to help me have an empathy and affection for those that are different from me.  My daily prayer includes my request that God would enable me to have a desire to show the world the beauty of a unified yet diverse community.

All my business pursuits are currently operated by myself only, I use tactics and technology to share content to a wide network of people.  I use certain hashtags so that people who search for my products and service can receive the information.

Practically, everyday I have to send out some content of some description, ie the daily blog, photographs, written content and I share articles written by other people.  Participation on groups.

I am seeking people who seek a new way to position themselves in the market-place. And also seeking people who would be interested in using products and services in their everyday life that would give them a some return in finance to build a residual income.

I never know what each day will bring, I have to trust God for the right people to contact me so that I can make a living.  People filter through to me, I don’t necessarily know who in each day I will be speaking to, but I know that I will be speaking to someone. Exercising patience is a faith building exercise to receive through faith and patience what God has promised (Hebrews 6:12)