Why do we allow our thoughts to give us limitations? (1)

The fear of loss is a motivating factor if it can propel you in to action, .however you may in the beginning be paralysed with negative thoughts that stop you changing your mindset and doing things differently…

Life is very challenging for me at present and also I can empathise with those near and dear to me that are also finding that they have challenges to overcome.

We had an interesting morning in our church on Sunday, Pastors Ashley and Ruth Schmierer were our guest speakers. Ps Ashley was talking about how he had been limited as a child by the negative comments his teachers had made about him. That he was the clown in the class and that they didn’t think he would amount to anything. He is now the COC International President.

Ps Ashley, was speaking about how we allow our thoughts to give us limitations on what we can achieve in our lives.

For those of us that have a FAITH /Christianity is about having a relationship with Jesus via prayer, praise and reading the Bible, those that have given their life to him and invited the Holy Spirit to live in them then can understand the scriptures and the power in them to transform lives. It is also important to have Christian fellowship, always there will be people in the body of Christ that you don’t see eye to eye with, but you can also find people that you do get along with and these people will inspire and encourage you in you daily walk and you can do the same for them. I have found FACEBOOK really powerful for this and daily connect and share content with my fellow Christian connections all over the world.

In our every day lives we have to get along with people that have no faith at all and we do our best to get along with them as we care about them as they are our friends.

In the case of the work place we find that we have to adhere to the thoughts and intentions of those of whom do not follow the same mindset. This is where the root of negative thinking starts to rise… Other people’s perspectives start to cloud our thinking.

In the case of the working environment you might have to follow the plan and purpose for someone else’s business…, you might well find yourself in the same situation that happened to me that someone used a rather calculated method to gain my attention and support.

Have you heard about the Chameleon in the Office scenario?

Do read the interesting blog written by my colleague- Blackstar Sharon Egan – I actually I winced when I first read it  –The third paragraph down was in fact the very thing that snared me– “So, when with you, they’ll mirror your beliefs, your values, your attitudes… and, because of that, create fantastic rapport with you. You’d think they were your best buddy..-Apparently, this is a ploy taught in sales and in particular network-marketing.   Of course in my case – I am a “Connector” sitting on a rather a large database of names which is appealing to people that are building lists of people to contact.

My personality in business is Servant Leadership- with the main concern of helping someone else to achieve their purpose and goals…I align myself to the people with the same mindset…

Coming back to the shared mindset and what would actually attract you to work with someone to see that their goal to earn a living happened and what would you feel like when the truth dawned on you that their why had changed so much that you had that gut feeling that now life was treating them so well (not through their own efforts might I add) the initial effort that they seemed to put in currently was none existent…   I can remember when I first got started first words given to me were we are here to build the network and forget about the product. 

Leadership requires patience and perseverance; I also think that to really take heed and respect the circumstances of others is important.  I think back now and wonder why did I align myself up with people that really didn’t care at all about the plans and purposes of others, why did I get swept away with the dream that this was going to be the way forward for me….

There are however, people in this business who are doing exceedingly well and are making the money that gives them the lifestyle that is promised, those with a true heart of a team spirit.   

In the very beginning I know I was on to a winner as the money came through as a result of prayer and it all worked well for the first six months or so, then people that joined the team all dropped away and those that are left are not in it to build the team, just there for the enjoyment of the product.  Fundamentally, core values of a Servant Leadership – not just about looking after yourself but about looking after other people.    Therefore encouraging people that have no surplus income over and above existing expenses to overspend is immoral.  Also, coming back to the beginning regarding negative comments building a team based on “Trusting relationships as the foundation for collaboration and service, affirming that all relationships should be based on trust and mutual respect, not power, status or coercion. Coercion – (like a form of bullying, threats or
intimidation.) 

Taking all of these circumstances into consideration I now realise why that breakthrough that I really needed to happen hasn’t…..

Update-Five years on….

1/9/2016.

I originally wrote this blog five years ago, quite a few changes have occurred so just thought it was a good idea to update.

Started of as a Sole Trader/Founder of  Ivey Business Services in 1992, still operating the same. Became know as TheConnector – changed this to TheConnectorInt

Marketing is via Networking –  all about relationships as Rob Peter’s would say #RelationshipCapital. – the art of getting to know people and finding out what they need.  They in turn maybe interested in what you have to offer or maybe interested to give you referrals or advocate you or even better collaborate with you.

Collaboration is great because  different people bring different skills to the table and so forming a team with everyone working towards the same purpose brings outstanding results.

I am delighted to be collaborating with Simon Barry from KiplingandKirbyVentures and also Rob Peters founder & CEO of StandardofTrust.com 

I have always enjoyed Networking events and Simon needed to have a regular monthly meeting as an incubator for start-ups.

We have decided to hold this in the Southwark area of London as our 1st meeting of this autumn is on 7th September 2016.  Please register your commitment to attend here 

Rob Peter’s wrote this really useful article called ” 10 Benefits of The Digital Start-Up Incubator Today”

I post information about the products and services that I represent on the following Facebook Pages.

Social Media Tutorials – Stella Holman, Personal IT Coach.

Information about the VIP Travel club and #Dreamtrips on  The Connector, working with a “Vision, plan and purpose to make a difference.

Ivey Business Services,

Digital Marketing for Creative People 

FriendsOfKusadasi

Organo Gold Team-Kusadasi

Weekly, I am still active on Empire Avenue on – it is now called Empire.Kred http://www.empireavenue.com/theconnector Over five years i have used this platform to make lots of new contacts, some of which have become really good online friends.  Remarkably a good platform to assist others build their brand online.

My Klout scoring fluctuates as it doesn’t let you have a day off!!

Five years ago i was running two blogs this one and also Stella Holman’s Blog ) and now i also have RecipeToSuccess FriendsOfKusadasi IveyBusinessServices EarnWithStella.